[Cheesy music pours out of the TV speakers. On the glowing screen, a camera pans around the studio audience full of pale-faced campaigners hyped up on coffee and late work nights. There is muted cheering. The camera sweeps past three nervous men, and one excited lady.]

Male voiceover: Welcome to tonight's edition of "Free Trial, Install or Avoid?"

Ladies and Gentlemen, I give you your host, Stila Blank!

Stila: Thanks Graham. Well, do we have a selection of gorgeous contestants for our lovely lady Charity to choose from tonight! Charity, you're in for a treat. So, what are you looking for especially?

Charity: Well, I do want flexibility. I like free, but not too cheap, if you know what I mean. [There is a nervous ripple of laughter among the audience.] He definitely has to look good and be easy-going. I'm looking for something long-term, though. Sorry guys, that does mean the c-word. [One of the men fingers his smart shirt collar nervously] 

Stila: Ahh, you mean commitment?

Charity: Yes, I want this to last at least five years.

Stila: [Raises her eyebrow, looks out at the audience] You're in luck there, Charity, because we have three great open-source choices for you this evening - no commercial types here. They're all popular with the ladies and, well, mostly faithful. So, let's see what these top-class fellas are like.

Wordpress, you're first. What have you got to say for yourself?

Wordpress, the youngest and cutest of the bunch, speaks: Well, Charity. I'm the sort of guy that's easy to get to know. I like lots of news, lots of updates. I'm also looking for something long-term. [The audience cheers.] I have few enemies, and some very rich friends. I think you'll fall in love with me easily. I like the simple life - not too many complications.

Stila: Yes, and you're also a bit of a honey, Wordpress. What about you, Joomla?

Joomla besuited and craggy, flashes his fake Rolex: Hey, babe. I think you'll find me a bit more sophisticated than Wordy, here. I'll do anything to please you. If you like to tinker and play with lots of toys, I'm your guy. I'm a bit more social, and if you don't push me too far, I can be low-maintenance, too.

Stila: Well, thanks Joomla. Now, how about you, Drupal?

Drupal, handsome but geeky, clears his throat before chiming in: Hi. Nice to meet you. I guess you'd call me the strong, silent type. If I fall for a lady, I fall in love forever. But I'm a hard guy to get to know, so I'm looking for a soulmate who'll be patient with me. I am versatile, strong, and clever. My friends tell me I can do anything if I put my mind to it. I'll even hoover the stairs. [The audience gasps.]

Stila: I think you're being a bit modest there, Drupal; you look hot
as well. (Drupal blushes.) So, Charity, what do you think of them all?

Charity: Well, I...

Stila: It's a hard choice, isn't it! So here's our Graham with a quick reminder:

Male voiceover: Tonight, Charity, who will you choose to Install, and
who will you Avoid?

There's geeky Drupal, whose mysterious ways and high-maintenance needs will keep you learning forever.

Then, there's chatty Wordpress. I wouldn't say he's shallow, but... if
you're into diving, you might want to choose a different pool.

And finally, Joomla. The man with the dodgy past. He's easy in more
ways than one, and might not hang around. He'll need a makeover if you want to impress your mates...

Charity, the choice is yours!

Rachel Collinson is MD of creative agency Rechord and a regular contributor to the eCampaigning Forum email list and events.